You know those pornographic photos of cheese toasties? No, you do. You know the ones. The ones that are all your drunk-self dreams of (and hungover, come to think of it)? Those pornographic cheese toasties are by The Cheese Truck. This Sunday – on a hangover, appropriately – I finally got to try one.
The Cheese Truck had tweeted their menu for Maltby Street Market, where they reside every Saturday (9am – 4pm) and Sunday (11am til 4pm), so I got to anticipate exactly what choice I was going to have to make. They don’t just do your bog standard cheddar cheese toastie – and forgive me for using the term ‘bog standard’ for something that is, quite frankly, magnificent. They’ve kind of pimped the cheese toasties up a bit, for want of better phrasing. You’ve got your stilton with bacon and pear chutney (£6), queso chihuahua (no, not a dog, it’s a Mexican cheese a bit like cheddar) teamed with chorizo and rocket (£6.50), as well as rosary goats cheese from Salisbury with honey, walnut and rosemary butter (£6) – and that’s all before you get to the ‘bog standard’ cheddar and ogleshield mix with onion (£5.50). Drooling yet?
Having scouted out the menu in advance I was admittedly struggling: bacon is a natural gravitation, but I don’t eat blue cheese. I could get the cheddar with added bacon (oh God), or I could go with something a little more out there – a little more gourmet, if you will, and opt for goat’s cheese. Luckily for me, by the time I actually managed to drag myself out of bed for the hangover cheese toastie of dreams, The Cheese Truck had run out of the clearly popular cheddar option, so I didn’t have do the whole “oh I don’t know; which one do you recommend? Really? But this one sounds awesome too” thing.
The goats cheese was beautiful. The honey and the walnuts added the depth you need to a whole toastie full of soft goats cheese, and it didn’t get quite as scorching hot as my partner in crime’s chorizo number, meaning I could greedily wolf it down almost immediately. I nabbed a bite of the latter and again, no complaints. Big wedges of chorizo sausage and you were never wanting for cheese, that’s for sure.
The brilliant news is The Cheese Truck are hitting the festival scene this summer something fierce, and have got not one but two pitches at Glastonbury this year, one in the campsite just above Pyramid and one in Shangri-La, mecca of the all nighter. Guys, I’ll be seeing you there soon for a cheddar round to see me through another hangover, that you can guarantee.
Maltby Street Market, Ropewalk, London, SE1 3PA
Every Saturday: 9am – 4pm and Sunday: 11am til 4pm
Tel: +44 (0) 7825 838 530
Pretty much every festival that exists in 2016 too – find out exactly where and when here.